Thursday, December 19, 2013

I’m Pissed!

A bad day…which actually started turning sour last night. I had a recurring dream that would not go away even after brief periods of waking up. I don’t remember the dream in detail, but the Pope and I were finalists in some sort of contest – don’t ask me what kind because I don’t know. Nonetheless, I was distressed as His Holiness clearly had an overwhelming advantage.

I don’t know the resolution of that puzzling reverie because early this morning my telephone rang right in the middle of my denunciation of the unfairness of the situation before a panel of judges. You guessed it, before a court of six Cardinals…and I’m not talking about red birds with topknots and feathers.

The caller was an old friend asking why I’d gone to Manila so soon after the terrible hurricane hit the Philippines. That was my first clue my computer had been hacked. I thanked him and bounded out of bed to try to address the problem. Please understand, the email address hacked was for my other iteration of Don Morgan. Apparently everyone on my/his contact list received the following message:



I am sorry for reaching you rather too late due to the situation of things right now. My family and I had a trip visiting Manila (Philippines), everything was going on fine until last night when we got attacked by some unknown gunmen. All our money, phones and credit cards was stolen away including some valuable items. It was a terrible experience but the good thing is they didn’t hurt anyone or made away with our passports.

We have reported the incident to the local authorities and the consulate but their response was too causal, we were ask to come back in 2weeks time for investigations to be made proper,But the truth is we can’t wait until then as we have just got our return flight booked and is leaving in few hours from now but presently sorting out our bills here and also getting a cab down to the airport. Right now we’re financially strapped due to the unexpected robbery attack, Wondering if you can help us with a quick loan to sort our bills and get back home. All we need is ($2,650.00 USD) or anything you can afford, I promise to refund you in full as soon as I return hopefully tomorrow or next. Write back now to let me know what you can do.

Thank You.



I have reproduced the phony email above exactly as received by one of my other email accounts. What a sorry piece of writing, not to mention a criminal act. It’s not too hard to figure out someone with English with a second language is the author of this pitiful literary effort.

So all of my foreign friends and acquaintances are suspect. If it were done in poetic form, I’d have the culprit nailed.

“…sorry for reaching you rather too late…” was bad enough, but “…My family and I had a trip visiting Manila…” is terrible. And really, can you imagine me saying “$2,650.00 USD?”

Even though I’m “Oopsie prone,” I don’t use run-on sentences or commas in the place of periods. I put commas after introductory phrases and use proper spacing after the close of sentences. And everyone knows I’m a slave to the serial comma. I don’t mix tenses, and my subjects generally agree with my verbs.

I have an idea! If the perpetrator of this fraud will come forward and join our writing class, we’ll teach him/her/them to write a proper extortion note.

My heading says I’m pissed. And I am. The bastards deleted all of my contacts, so I’m starting from scratch in getting them reentered. I changed my password, ran a Norton full check, tried to contact Yahoo (that’s a subject for another post), and did everything I know to do to protect against this happening again.

Despite all of this, let me wish everyone Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday.




Next week: Depends on what disaster befalls me between now and then.

New posts are published at 6:00 a.m. each Thursday.

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