On January 3, my site went off the air because Google said I failed to renew. Renew? Who knew? I received no requests or warnings, so I blundered blithely on until they pulled the plug. Getting reinstated wasn’t easy, I can tell you. I had to call on St. Larry (whom regular readers have met before) to perform his magic. It took until today, Jan 30 for him to get the reinstatement.
At any rate, I hope not too many people have given up on me and will find the site again. So here we go with another short story.
Phoebe… what a savage name. It rolls off the tongue and evokes images of a rad curvy Greek titan with lustrous blonde hair and sky blue eyes. One of Saturn’s moons got dubbed with that name. You know, after her. Of course, Phoebe’s also a longhorn beetle, but I don’t ever mention that.
A name shared by poets and musicians, actresses and artists, playwrights and screenwriters, Phoebe also served as the given name of the first female U. S. Marshal in America. I know. I looked it up in my Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.
The Phoebe in my life wasn’t up to those standards… yet. Of course, we’re still in high school so she has some growing to do. Okay, she’s a little vanilla, but she’ll develop into her name. Then too, she’s a brunette with brown eyes, but they’re nice brown eyes. Can’t quite claim she’s voluptuous. Still, I can look down the road and picture how she’ll be… when she gets there. Yeah, my Phoebe will do just fine.
Except she’s not really my Phoebe. We’ve been buds for years. Sat beside one another in more classes than I can count. Been to the same fleekin' parties together. But not … together. I sus she thinks on me like fam. That was going to change. Today. I asked her to meet me in the park after school and snuck out of my last class a little early to swing by the drug store for two strawberry milkshakes. That’s her dime… you know, favorite.
By the time I entered the park, she already sat at a picnic table reading and scratching the back of her head. Probably chilling on a romance novel. Bad. Nobody around.
Phoebe closed the book, which turned out to be our geometry text, and accepted the milkshake I offered. She took a big slug before speaking. “What’s up?”
“Does something have to be up?” I dissembled. This was harder than I imagined. We’d exchanged thousands of words—maybe millions—but none like the ones I wanted to say.
She blinked. “Not every day you ask me to meet you in the park. You need help with one of your classes?” She took another deep draw on the straw.
I smiled and shook my head. My egghead Phoebe. She set the grading curve in her classes so high the jocks bleeped her. But I managed to keep up. “Nope. Acing my classes.”
She plopped the book down on the concrete table and crossed her hands on top of the text. They were kinda broad and stubby. Another sign she’d fill out when her day came. “Okay, what?” she asked.
“We haven’t collected any down time together lately.”
“We studied for the biology test for two hours not more’n three days ago.” She raised her hands and slapped them back down on the book. “And we test quizzed one another on geometry yesterday. What else do you want?”
“Well. You know, some personal time.”
“Personal time? Since when do we need personal time, Boris Whiznant?” She stopped talking, and I endured a piercing stare from those brown orbs. “Are you getting funny ideas?”
I slipped off the table where I’d been perched and took the bench opposite her. “Funny ideas?”
“We’ve known each other since the fifth grade. We’re buddies. Pals. Study freaks. You gonna mess that all up?”
“H-how?” I stammered.
“OMG, you are! By getting mushy, that’s how.”
“I don’t want to be pals. Buddies. I want—” I had to stop and gulp air “—to go out with you.”
“Go out with me?” Her big mouth dropped open. I thought for a minute she was going to kek. “You mean like hashtag BF, GF?”
I reared back and said it like a man. “Yeah, exactly like that. I want you to be my girlfriend.”
I could have taken it if she had keked—you know laughed aloud. Instead, she threw dark shade at me like I was something gross lying on the table, got to her feet, and collected her textbook, pausing long enough to slurp down the rest of the shake. “I can’t even.”
“How come, Phoebe? Lay it one me.”
She shrugged her wide shoulders, another reason why she’d be—
“How do you chill with someone named Boris? Boris for crying out loud. You can’t make a cute pet handle out of Boris. You can call John, Johnny. Tim, Timmie. But Borie is boring. Borisee sounds like a German lake. Can’t shorten it. Bor is a wild pig. Can’t use the second syllable, either. Is is a part of the verb ‘to be.’ And Isie? Yuk!” She made a rude sound through her nose. “I just can’t.” She edged out from between the concrete bench and table, finished the dregs of her milkshake, and walked away.
I stood and yelled after her. “You can’t go out with me because of my name? Because of my name?”
I plopped back down on the hard concrete and rested my head in my hands. Unbelievable. Just because of my name. How shallow can you get?
Hope you recognize some of the current teen slang. It almost left me behind… and I wrote it! At any rate, let me know what you think at email@example.com.
Keep on reading, guys. I always look forward to hearing from you.
See you next week.
Next post will be at 6:00 a.m. on Thursday, putting us back on schedule.